Go to School - Become a Joker

Some people are inborn comedians. They usually are the clown among the crowd, making funny jokes and leaving everybody rolling in the aisles. If most of your friends or the people around you say that you are inherently funny and witty then why not make this as a profession? 

Yes, you can take comedy classes to bring your talent to the next level. If you take pleasure in doing jokes and making people laugh or if you know the value of comedy, you are a best candidate to take comedy classes. By enrolling in elite comedy classes, your natural comic personality will further be honed.

Being a stand-up comedian is no laughing matter! 

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Summary of my last year on the computer

Thanks to you, I can't use anyone's  toilet but mine because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when  it bites my butt.

 

Summary of my last year on the computer

 

I must send my thanks to  whoever sent me the one about poop in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet towel with every envelope  that needs sealing.

Also, now I have to scrub the  top of every can I open for the same reason.

I no  longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl  (Penny Brown) who is about to die in the hospital for the  1,387,258th time.

I no longer have any money at all,  but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in  their special e-mail program.

I no longer worry about  my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me,  and St. Theresa's novena has  granted my every wish.

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Girlfriend VS iPhone

My boyfriend's Iphone does seem to be getting a little smudged, due to his constant, loving caresses and attention. Perhaps it needs a bath

 

iPhone VS Girlfriend

 

As I type this, my boyfriend is on the couch, napping blissfully, his Iphone nestled to his chest. I remember the distant days when I was the one who nestled there, my head resting lovingly against his shoulder, but apparently because I don't vibrate like a buzz saw every ten minutes to let him know that he's gotten an email from Sears.com with great deals for Fall savings, he's traded up.

I remember when it was my shrill, piercing voice that delighted him, but no more. I've lost my favored status, displaced by a small, rectangular device that beeps incessantly at the most inopportune times'most of which are apparently no longer inopportune! God help me if I should turn to him while he's engrossed in an episode of Two and a Half Men and say, 'I forgot to tell you about this lady I saw in the Food Lion today who was wearing hilarious pants ''I would be judiciously shushed!

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Wardrobe Malfunction

I walked over to them. They had been in the audience, and they told me how good I was and how much they liked it. They also mentioned that my costume kept falling down in one of my dances. I asked them how noticeable it was and they told me they were sitting in the audience watching with their mouths open saying, “Is it going to happen?”

 Wardrobe Malfunction

I walked slowly down the hallway placing each foot as lightly as I could on the tile to avoid the loud click of the taps as they slapped the floor with every step. I could hear the music start. The song boomed out into the hallway, “You have to understand the way I am, Mein Herr. A tiger is a tiger, not a lamb. Mein Herr.”

Damn it. I’m missing it. I quickened my pace, but my feet began to slide forward throwing me off balance. I held my arms out to steady myself and regaining my balance returned back to my slow pace. I passed two girls in hot pink tank tops and black capri’s with hot pink sashes tied around their hair. 

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Ayam, jagung dan orang gila

Alkisah ada orang gila yg mengira dirinya tuh jagung jadi dia takut banget sama ayam karena takut banget di makan. tiap kali liat ayam dia pasti lari terbirit2. akhirnya, orang gila ini dimasukin ke rumah sakit jiwa.
Setahun… dua tahun.. tiga tahun… akhirnya dia dipanggil oleh sang dokter.

“kamu sudah tau sekarang kamu ini siapa?” kata si dokter.

“sudah dokter,” sahut si orang gila

“jadi kamu ini siapa?”

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You Can Hypnotize Anybody

I hypnotized some friends recently to purchase my wife and I dinner at a very expensive restaurant. I did this just for fun and I let them in on the secret later as to what I had done and they were amuzed and they were under the impression that they wanted to pay for dinner even though I mentioned to them before we got to the restaurant that it was my treat and that it was not open for discussion.

You Can Hypnotize Anybody

It does not take a NASA scientist to hypnotize somebody. It most cases it is a mere suggestion that when suggested to another person action is taken.

I have laerned some tips and techniques from the top ten hypnotists in the worls and found that I can can get people to almost anything I want. I can get them to believe in things that do not exist or even drop the price on an item that I want to purchase by mere sugestion and by controlling my facial expressions and my voice.

The power of suggestion. You may have heard this before,well it really does work if you know how to unleash this power that alomost everyone posesses. The gevernment has been using it for years and individuals that are very successful have been using it as well.

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Ayah, Sex itu Apa?

Suatu pagi seorang anak yang baru masuk sekolah dasar bertanya kepada ayahnya :

  ‘Yah…….. ayah….. ….sex itu apa sih, yah…..?’ 

Terperanjat si ayah mendengar pertanyaan si upik. Terbayang dia tentang arus modern zaman sekarang yang membuat manusia berfikiran terbuka, termasuk anak yang masih kecil. Sesuai dengan konsep pendidikan seks yang sedang hangat dibicarakan, mulailah si ayah mencari-cari jawaban yang sesuai dengan umur dan harapan anaknya yang ia harapkan tak mau tertinggal dalam arus pendidikan modern.

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